By Ariana Waldruff
“I went for 30 hours a week as a kid [to ABA therapy] and it was traumatic and dehumanizing. It felt like obedience training for a dog. It was just to force me to act normal. I have an identity crisis because of what they did to me. It didn't help me at all; it just gave my parents and society in general more control over me when what I needed was emotional support.” -Anonymous autistic adult
I did not have ABA therapy; I write this as a friend and advocate listening to the voices of autistic adults with lived experience.
ABA stems from behaviorism. In simple terms: “good” behavior is rewarded, “bad” behavior is punished. Supporters note success stories: children achieving academic success and being mainstreamed into the school system. On paper ABA looks like a dream. Reality is more of a nightmare.
One of the most influential people involved in ABA, Ole Ivar Lovaas, had a pivotal role in creating conversion therapy. My belief is ABA, like conversion therapy, is not designed to help the person receiving therapy, it’s designed to help people around them be comfortable. Because that’s the message ABA sends: your authentic self is unacceptable to society.
Early intervention should not focus on erasing autistic traits. A friend was not allowed to stim because it was “disruptive.” She was taught to wear a mask of normalcy; maintain eye contact, don’t fidget, don’t talk so much, smile. Years of being forced to conform and suppress led to a breakdown; she jumped out of a window at school. 18 years later she still struggles to be herself, because her childhood was focused on making her someone else.
Intervention must be rooted in understanding and acceptance. We should teach kids how to understand behaviors, not erase them. Compliance may look like success, but it comes at a cost; internalized shame, anxiety, and a loss of self. Life is not about academic achievement or fitting into the crowd, and therapy shouldn’t be either.
#JoyDew #ABA #AutismAcceptance #AutismVoices #AutisticMentalHealth #AutonomyOverCompliance
